White space of wink

I am a person who is not very interesting , most time is in home. Sometimes from late at night to before dawn, I bent over windowsill to went ahead and smoked ,looked at the dark blue overgrown with underbrush sky. Somebody said ,"Day time is always limited. But dark night is vast boundless." Innumerable of night, I stayed on the deserted room or balcony. Thought about what were other people doing now. But I believed , it always had someone who liked me wakefulness. Had no way to fall asleep , could not also emitted any sounds. I always require myself that having sympathy. Because of I have many wounds about past and have no way to show. I knew so-called blind life and the agony of unable to find way out.Any object has a defect to be going to consummate. This is my appreciation of the beauty watches. But life chosen by me. That is one of the way to be lost and forced. Sometimes are beautiful , sometimes are also dreadful. But my life is so-called. Happiness is always a kind of illusion and we fluctuate in illusion.
----EMMA